On Men Leaving the Church
At least from my point of view. Chapter 12: Letters to a Leaving Mormon
I am not a man. I have not ever identified as a man. But I have seen many men I deeply love go through the process of leaving the church. I have also seen many men stay in the church for a variety of reasons. I have seen men strive to be good inside of the church, and hold on to that same desire after leaving. I have seen men who have not been able to look at the problems in the church head-on for a long time. I have seen men grieve. I have seen men heal. I have seen men who were able to see me as a friend and not just a woman to be tempted by after I left the church. I cannot speak for or about any one of them in particular, because their words are not mine to write. I can speak to what I have witnessed, heard and experienced.
Leaving as a man is not harder or easier than leaving as a woman, a transgender person or non-binary person, but I will say that objectively, there is more at stake. As a man in the church, you are at the top of the pyramid, and there are opportunities to rise higher in that pyramid throughout your life. I think the majority of men in Mormonism are not striving or hoping for power, but it is so inherent in the structure of the religion, that it is difficult not to notice or judge a man based on where he resides inside of that hierarchical structure. Upon leaving, many men are stepping away from their social connections, and perhaps the few friendships they have.
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